my sweet, beautiful shayna got in trouble at school yesterday for pinching a boy and stilling his erasers. oh and don't make the mistake of thinking that it was because she likes this boy...because i did and i will never do that again :) so i pick her up from school yesterday and she hands me this letter that the teacher made her write to me about her actions at school. wow this was a shocker, shayna doesn't get in trouble at school. so she spent the evening writing over and over again that she will keep her hands to herself, which she didn't write correctly the first time so had to redo it, then she had to fold the laundry and last but not least she didn't get to watch TV, OMG this is the worse punishment ever. You would have thought I killed this child. I am hoping that she will at least think twice before she decides to put her hands on someone else again.

ok so here is the desk and the sharpie on the couch....

counseling was good last night...i really liked the counselor. she's young but she was very easy to talk too and shayna seemed to really like her. it really is depressing sitting down and telling someone your whole life history. she said shayna has seen way more in her ten years then she should have and of course i already knew that but when you hear it from someone else it really makes you feel like a failure. i'm confident that this will help us (me and shayna) ava was a bit of a handful last night because she's just too young but we are going to continue to go and see how it plays out.

tonight is the first night of family counseling...i am hopeful that it will help us. last week, shayna told me that she hates her life and on sunday ava told me that she doesn't love me and wants to know when we are moving back to daddy's. let me just tell you if your kids have ever said anything like that to you, then you know excatly how i feel. it hurts more than words can explain. i know ava is only 4and i know that she does love me so that wasn't so bad but when shayna said "i hate my life" that one hurt. so wish us luck that counseling will help us get through this and we can all start liking our lives again. i am personally struggling with a lot of issues, i feel like i am trying to help everyone else get through this but that doesn't really leave me anytime to help myself get through this. it's a struggle everyday. but i am hopeful that as each day passes that it will get easier. it will be much better when i get my vehicle situation worked out. it's still going to be another week before i get the truck back. i really messed it up...uncle keith had to replace the entire front suspension, 2 wheels, the passenger side front door, the front bumper, the back bumper and the running board...whew..what a mess.

this weekend was ok. nothing to exciting to tell you about except for the fact that I alone put my desk together...from start to finish. Now just keep your fingers crossed for me that it doesn't fall apart. lol! And it looks good, I'll post pictures tomorrow, I forgot the camera cord today. But while I was putting the desk together, my lovely little girl decided to take a sharpie to my couch...NOT GOOD. Anyone have any idea how i might get that out? We did take a trip to Pump it up on Saturday and the girls had a good time. Ava loved the rock climbing wall and Shayna of course always loves the big slide. the first picture is shayna making me do silly poses...for some reason she loves to do that to me:)

ok so really why is life so hard? The last few weeks of my life might just have been the hardest ever. Moving out, mustang broke down, wrecked the truck on Monday, is it ever going to end. Seriously people I don't have a money tree in my back yard...oh wait i don't have a back yard anymore. Sometimes I think it's going to be ok and then SMACK right in the face with something else. I really just wish someone would tell me excatly what to do and what the answer is to all these problems. I'm trying to stay strong for my girls but really all i want to do is stay in bed because everyday when i get up, something else bad happens...my head hurts, my body hurts...hell everything hurts. Next week I start counseling so I am hopeful that will provide me with some much needed answers. I'm thinking this blog might become a daily release for me for awhile so i hope you all don't get tired of hearing my ramblings. I just want all of you out there that have helped me through this just how much i love you and appreciate you. Momma, you have helped me way more than any one person should have too. I promise to one day repay the favor, I honestly do not know what i would do without you. Grandpa Elwood, you saved the day when i needed you when i wrecked the truck, i am very grateful for all that you and nancy have done for me. Aunt Deb, Uncle Don, Kelli, I love you guys very much and am very thankful for all the help you have given me in the last month. Just knowing that you are there helps.

Girls all dressed up in their Colts gear! Aren't they cute!