I never would have guessed that when I married this man 7 years ago that my life would turn out the way it has. What makes a person choose beer over his family? Was it me? Was it something that I did wrong, what is so great about beer that you are willing to throw you whole family away just to keep drinking? It's been 5 months since the girls and I left, he hasn't even tried to stop drinking. It breaks my heart that this is happening. When I left I really thought it would be the wake up call that he needed but I guess I was once again wrong. I really thought when I married Evan that he was the man that would be a great husband and father. He was so different then, or maybe I was just blinded by love. Now it's come down to I've scheduled the meeting with the attorney so I guess there is no going back. Maybe I just don't try hard enough to make things work. Am I wrong in wanting my husband to be a contributing part of the family, am I wrong because I want him to show up for both girls activities not just Ava's? Am I asking too much? All I wanted was to be a family. I know that some people can rise above their addictions and do so much better so why can't he? Why is he ok with being like this? Why doesn't he want to be the father that Ava needs? I'm so angry and hurt, will that ever change? I've never truly felt this much pain before, he continues to hurt me more and more each day. So many questions and no answers......
1 comment:
37 years or 7, marriage is hard. It takes a lot of give and take and the willingness to do what is best for the family as a whole. Unfortunately, Evan is on a different page than you are concerning what is important in your marriage. I can not answer your question as to why he drinks like he does. I can tell you it isn't you that makes him drink, or ignore his responsibilities as a father and husband. As we go through life, we make choices. These are choices he is making and no matter how much or how hard you try, you are not going to change him. He is the only one that can do that. It would appear that he is fine with what is happening right now with your marriage. As sad as it is to see your marriage break up, you Chrissi have to now think of what is best for you and your 2 little girls. This is a choice you have to make. No one can make it for you. Don't beat yourself up as to the whys. They will get you no where. You can blame your self, you can blame him, you can blame all the outside influences that have put you where you are today. But ultimately it doesn't matter why. What does matter is where you go from here. You are a strong woman and I know you are hurt. The hurt and the anger will get better in time. Will you always have a piece of your heart that will be his? Yes, but the rest of your heart will heal and you will move on. Remember, we as a family stick together through the good and the bad. Lean on those that love you and want the best for you and the girls. Give your self time to grieve and to heal. It will not happen overnight but it will happen. One day you will be happy again. I love you and am here for you always. Aunt Deb
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